Musings.....

For a last few days I have been pondering over common rituals Indian women follow and how most of them revolve around the fact that a woman could be happy and enjoy her life merrily only if her husband is alive. In short, a woman’s life cannot be complete without a man standing by her. God forbid if your husband passes away prematurely; in no time you will be ousted from the entire society. And I am not referring to the dark ages or remote villages, I still see this regularly in the upper middle class of our society.

It is absolutely appalling and pathetic that if you are a widow your presence is considered as a bad omen and are banished from all the merrymaking. What’s really interesting is, often this cruelty is imposed on the widow by none other but by fellow women. Do we all realize what we are really doing? or are we just blindly following the rituals that have been followed for ages? and for that matter are an insult to the fact that many of us are well educated women. It is really pitiful that any human would treat another human based on marital status.

We also have a common custom of touching the feet of elderly to seek blessings and pay respect to the elderly. However as a woman, it brings me to another reality related to the similar absurdity, and surprise surprise what blessings does the woman usually end up getting? "akhanda saubhagyavati bhava" meaning "stay married all your life" The overtly benign looking blessing reveals a kind of cruel connotation if you think beyond the obvious meaning. What this blessing suggests is, ‘A woman is blessed if she departs before the demise of her husband.’ The very notion that men always should live longer than women underlines the gender inferiority still prevalent widely. How many of us give any thought to it before practicing it blindly? What is the point of such ridiculous, obsolete and intellectually insulting customs still followed in a civilized society?

I know we have come a long way and we are much better off compared to ultra conservative cultures such as Saudi Arabia where women just got a right to vote and women are still thrashed for mundane things such as driving an automobile and the year is 2011! But, just these subtle issues with Indian culture that have been bothering me for a past few days. I am also pretty sure these rituals are not enforced upon the Indian women, But are blindly followed.